Thinking About Advocacy
All parents must advocate for their children, but parents who have children with exceptional needs probably spend lots of time over and above the average advocating for their children. Since you will spend much of your time as a parent advocating on behalf of your child and your family, why not be as effective as you can possibly be?
Thinking back to when my daughter was diagnosed, I wish now someone had provided my husband and I with a course on our new role as our daughter's advocate. Most of what we have learned has been by trial and error. I have have been very inspired by the commitment that I have seen from other parents. Truly the best teachers. I remember being at a parent support meeting where we were introducing ourselves and hearing for the first time (when asked what she "did") a mother saying that she was her daughters advocate. I was very impressed and thought "Ya- that's what you call what I seem to spending much of my time on lately". I think at that moment I stopped thinking of myself as "just the mother" or "Mum" (as some professionals insisted on calling me -even though I was not their mother) and began to think of myself as "the advocate". It gave me a certain feeling of dignity and helped put me on more of an equal footing with those professionals that I encountered. Even if that feeling of equality was only in my own mind, it was very powerful.
Nobody knows your child like you do.
Nobody, no matter how learned or experienced they may be professionally, can speak as effectively as you can about your own family. Advocacy comes from the heart and the mind. It feels natural because you do it out of love and concern, but like many natural processes there are things about it that you can learn.
In addition to speaking on behalf of my own child and my own family, I also spend some of my time advocating for all families who have children with disability in Ontario. Over time I have attended various presentations on Advocacy. One of the presentations that sticks out in my memory is a session given by the late Dr. Paul Steinhauer, one of the foremost childrens' advocates in Canada. Dr. Steinhauer spoke at the Ontario Association of Children's Rehabilitation Services (OACRS) Conference in May 1999 and I felt very fortunate to have attended.
Most of the words of advice that follow are from Dr. Steinhauer. Some of them are mine. Remember, having your heart in the right place is an essential, but still only the beginning. Developing your skills is the next step to becoming a more effective advocate.
Here are some tips:
- Focus on solutions, not problems.
- Be clear, factual, simple and persuasive.
- Form alliances with people and organizations who have similar concerns. Advocate a value (ie. Equity).
- Good research about the issue is important -do your homework.
- Accuracy is essential -lack of it damages your credibility. Once your credibility is damaged it is very hard to get it back again. Sometimes in the heat of the moment one can be inclined to exaggerate -resist.
- Pluck the opportunities of the day. (ie. Has there been any recent press on the issue? Can you use it? What about research?)
- Advocate for and not against something.
- Ask questions.
- Listen. Strive for dialogue not debate. Adapt your approach to your audience. This is not possible unless you have taken the time to find out who they are and what their position is. Assume nothing.
- Appeal to the right and left brain. Use reason and emotion.
- Acknowledge the strengths in the other positions.
Look for common ground.
Strive to be open-minded. Don't preach to the converted. Advocate for a balanced solution. How can we try to meet some/most of the needs of all parties? (ie. Can we focus on values and cost effectiveness and look at achieving both?)
Ask yourself: who has the power in this situation? What power and strengths do I/we have in this situation?
Remember -Advocacy requires long-term commitment.
For more information, download our Guide to Advocacy